So as promised, I’m on the train on the way to London and I’m tapping away at the long (?) awaited match report.

Tiniest of turn around in the teams, at the last minute “Detention” had to stick around at work to finish “Budgie Smuggler”‘s report. This wasn’t a too bigger problem as “Pick Up An Oar” showed up at the last minute to fill the numbers.

After waiting around for a while for all players (and kit) to show up we got underway. I was told I should include the warm up game as part of the match, which STUDio won about 7-0 but I guess I cant 🙁

As per the kit, they were defo worth the wait. We all looked so sexy in them it has to be said. Was great to see “Roll With It” managed to wear the right colour for once.

A HORRIBLE start for STUDio, going 5 nil down within the first 10 or so minutes. Some desperately bad goal keeping from the award winning keeper “Hot Brother” let 3 in, then a shocking OWN GOAL from a certain someone who does not deserve to have his name in the same sentence as goal. So he will remain nameless, sort of, ***** “I like Women’s underwear” *****. “EEK, spider” took full advantage of the bad goalkeeping and put the first few of his 6 away, one of which was a nutmeg on the weak keeper.

STUDio FC fought hard to come back into it, finishing the game at 10-7 to Topville. I “Under The Hat Is A Comb Over” wont go into too much detail about my wonder goal, picking the ball up and taking on 3 Topville players before slotting it in the corner. The Topville 10 was made up from 6 for “Battery-powered Toy car”, 2 for “Daz White Dentistry” and 1 for “I’ll See You On The Court”. Confusion over the STUDio scorers, 4 of us think we scored 2, so as “captain” I don’t mind taking the moral high ground and mark it down as 1. Even though we all know “Jelly Belly” only scored 1, the rest of his shots went over the fence. So that’s 2 each for “Pencil Sharpener”, “Catwalk Roadkill” and “Doesn’t Know What He’s Getting Himself Into”.

I might make a shame wall and keep a list of who deserved to be sent off in each game. I know for sure I’ll be at the top of the list for this week! I still think “Tweedle Frank” deserved it, but kids its always bad to lash out. I wont be the only person on the list who for this week…

For next week, can we please be on time! It’s due to the 45 minute game instead of an hour game that STUDio lost… Honest!

For the record… all nicknames were supplied by “Wanna be ginger hottie” and “Fatty wants a COOKIE”.